Bitterness In The Hobby

Okay I know I haven’t written a blog in a while and I apologize for that.  Things have been pretty insane in real life.  I just have to get this off my chest though.

There’s a lot of bitterness in this hobby.  Is it unfounded? No but does it need to make people bitter towards every fed they join?  Does it have to get to people so bad that they can’t even enjoy a fed and seem to have to shout it from the rooftops that if you see this, this and this then leave that fed?

There are people that are slimeballs everywhere.  Does that mean there’s not good people in this world that can actually do something that can be twisted horribly but not twist it horribly?

For example.  I’ve been in a fed where an owner has been a 14 time champion.  He held the top title in his fed 14 TIMES!!!! If he wasn’t holding it, his best friend was and that best friend was a 12 time champion.  Our storylines would get all screwed up because he would smoke a bowl and then decide something was cool to write in the results that would ruin everything.  He pissed a lot of people off but I still call it the best e-fedding experience of my life and here’s why.

  1. It taught me that winning isn’t everything.   Most players in this hobby now are very win based.  They think their writing is shit if they don’t get a win.  That’s not true.  Sometimes you can do more with a loss than a win and none of you believe me when I tell you that but I’ve been there and I’ve done it.  Quit bitching about losses this hobby was originally about wrestling and in wrestling you did the job for whatever reason whether the owner hated you backstage or storyline reasons.  You didn’t bitch whine and complain to the roster, you made something of it.  You took that pile of shit and you made a fucking shit sculpture!
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    Some of my best feuds were with people I was genuinely angry with.  You get a group of people together and it’s not gonna be smores and Kumbya.  You’re gonna love each other, you’re gonna hate each other.  You’re gonna fight and argue and people are gonna tell you to shut the fuck up but that’s just the way it is.  I can’t count how many times I’ve had people get pissed off at me and say “You’re a biased fed head.” Never said a word before that about anything.  Never said anything to anyone else because that would have gotten back to me.  Nope they always do it when they’re throwing a bitch fit because they know it bothers me.  Yet they always come back.

     

  3. It taught me to up my game.  If I was being fucked over, it made me want it that much more.  I stayed to show them that I wasn’t going to give up that easily and ultimately I honed my craft.  I was able to deal with any situation.  Win, loss, blatant screw over, attack..anything.
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  5. It also taught me not to take shit so seriously.  This is a game yes and we all want to be GREAT at any game we play.  E-fedding is not just about that.  It’s about making friends and playing your character.  You might be a legend in one fed but nobody has ever heard of you in another.  You go waltzing over from one corner of the internet e-fedding community and expect to be recognized in another just based on your history in the last fed, you’re gonna get laughed at.  Why?  Whole ‘nother playground.  We wanna see you do that here and if you don’t then you just lowered yourself and nobody else is to blame for that than you.  There is ALWAYS somewhere that will cause you to raise the bar for yourself.  It’s not an insult.  It’s a learning experience.  As good as you are, somewhere there is always someone better.  You should be learning something new each day.  Not just sitting here thinking I’m king shit.  My writing is great! I should get my ass kissed everywhere I go.  A lot of you do that and having an ego in e-fedding is pointless.  Nobody cares you won 20 titles over in fake e-fed A. We want to know what you bring to the table for us.  If it’s an ego, you can hit the bricks.  If you wanna work with people, win some, lose some and meet friendly people then you’re an e-fedder.  If you’re not, you’re just a dick.
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  7. Fed heads CAN hold titles and do it right.  Am I gonna say I’m proof of that?  No.  I’d like to say I am, that I’ve never done anything wrong in my life but I’m human so I’m not gonna make that decision for me.  I asked my roster when I started my fed if they wanted me to play and they said yes.  So I’ve done so but generally I try to stay away from the titles.  I don’t ACTIVELY go after them.  I will hold one if numbers are low, I have the time to seriously BE a champion and shit needs stirred up.  I’ve made my share of mistakes and I’ve had to fix them.  One of them was Alan Drake telling people that they didn’t need a belt to be a champion.  What I thought would happen didn’t happen and instead my roster went through this phase of not wanting to go after titles at all.  Oops…  I’ve been where most of you have been.  I know what it’s like to have a tyrant fed head that gets off on holding the belt and holding everyone back.  Keep in mind that some feds didn’t let WOMEN go after the biggest titles.  I was subjected to that too and I know what it feels like.

 

Should I have left that fed?  Probably.  As an e-fed it was crap.  The fed head wasn’t fed head material at all.  He was biased and unfair and at times so smoked up he was out of his head.  There were people that pulled me into arguments even if I wasn’t involved but we were a family.  We fought together, we argued together, we worked with other feds together, we bitched about our fed head together but we NEVER thought about going anywhere else because we loved the roster.  If Jac Morgan and I as Kristen Brown did something to make the rest of the roster go holy shit, THAT was what made e-fedding awesome for us.  Our win loss records were shit.  The times we’ve held a title could probably be counted on one hand even if you only had two fingers, we were pissed off at the fed head ( ALL of us),  but it was still fun as hell.  We were sad when that fed closed after 7 years and we lost contact with many people.  I managed to find most of them.  Most of them were in Skyfall until real life got in the way, and while the owner of that fed did a lot of things wrong, WE as a roster did a lot of things right, especially when that fed head was gone and we had to run the place ourselves. I’ve incorporated a lot of that into Skyfall.

Do I get anything for holding titles in my fed?  No.  I get more out of it when it’s thriving and doing well.  When my roster is happy and I’m feeling the creative energy.  When I get in a slump is when these outsiders come in and flake or think they should just run through the roster.  When people think of nothing but themselves.  That’s not what this game is about.  If you didn’t see a challenge somewhere when you were looking over the fed you joined then why did you join it in the first place?  You WERE looking right?

The last thing I want to talk about is OOC environment.  I’ve seen a huge shift in feds away from OOC areas and into social media and other places.  Most of my fed does all their OOC chatting on Skype.  It’s easier than PM or leaving a post on the OOC board.  If you join a fed and you only give an email address, don’t be surprised if you’re not included in most of the OOC goings on in a fed.  That’s not something a fed head can control.  Most of the time people come on, roleplay and then grab their e-fedding buddies and hop on xbox live for a couple hours before work.  We game together, we hang out together and we don’t always want to talk shop all the time or post on a board.  We want to HEAR each other.  It makes people closer at least I think so.  Are we wary of new people?  Absolutely.  For every bad experience you’ve had, we’ve had one too.  If you want a fed roster to be friendly, you have to extend an olive branch yourself.   Am I saying it’s right to be skittish?  No.  And that may sound contradictory but to get friendly, you have to be friendly.

On the same token to find a home, you should be interested enough to find out why things are the way they are.  Communicate with your fed head, bring up your concerns, listen to their responses and bring up some options.  Just remember that it is their fed and as everyone has said, there is no right way to run one.  They can run it any way they choose.  If it’s not for you then there’s tons of feds out there that may be.  But don’t be a dick about it all.  If you come in and you don’t read the rules, you don’t read roleplays to know what’s going on in the fed you’ve chosen, you don’t get to know people and then proceed to make everything about you, then don’t expect to have a very good experience.  Every time you tell us to think, you need to think about yourself first just to make sure you’re not making it harder on others.

As always, comments are welcome but please keep them civil.  Any that are not will be deleted.